Fire Red Passion

Growth and Graduation

2011-03-31T15:00:00.005+08:00

Graduation is just around the corner~~~

It's a good thing, no? Or is it really a sad thing? 3 years have felt like just 1 month. But in the past 3 years I have changed and grown mentally, psychologically and spiritually. Physically, I've slimmed down by quite a bit since 3 years ago. Yay me!

I have changed my perspective on life, my knowledge has increased--from those that I have acquired from my lecture notes, to those at my workplaces (internship and temp job workplace); from CCA activities and sitting on an Executive Committee to interacting with people I meet physically and online. I have definitely matured and I have been tremendously blessed with many experiences that have molded me into who I am today.

True, not all my bad habits have been broken: I have even acquired some new ones along the way, unfortunately. Nevertheless, I have learnt to take every day of my life as a learning opportunity and a day to appreciate the things in life, be it big or small, significant or insignificant, material or intangible.

My poly life has been thoroughly enriched by family and friends, teachers and acquaintances, haters and strangers; but most of all, God has made the last 3 years in this institution of education worth while. He has strongly impacted my life in times of jubilation and in times of strife. He has placed people, incidents and things in my life that have shaped me into a better person than when I graduated from Secondary School. Without all of these, I would probably not be able to type this out now. Thank You very much from the bottom of my heart.

Friends and family, thank you for being there for me, and for showing me the true meaning of life in each of your special ways. Friends and teachers, thank you for being there for me. You may have interacted with me for just a few days, a few months, a year or even more, but you have nonetheless changed me for the better. You have taught me the true meaning of friendship and learning, and certain people have taught me how to trust. I am deeply grateful for meeting you, and may we continue to keep in touch.

Haters, I forgive you, even though sometimes it is extremely hard to not curse you and hate you back. I thank you for teaching me patience and anger management. I pray that I will be able to stay strong morally, and I hope that we could be able to make up for the hate that runs deep in our relationship.

I have too many things to type in one post, so I'll most likely continue in the next post.

2011-02-27T18:38:00.001+08:00

Disliking History Says You Are Unpredictable

You are unpredictable, unusual, and challenging.

For you, history is too irrelevant and set in stone. You rather look toward the future.

You don't like to commit to anything. You're a dynamic person who is always growing and changing.

You are very interested in new ideas and technology. You like to keep up with the latest trends.

What Does Your Least Favorite School Subject Say About You?

Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

Hehehehe... :P

2011-02-27T18:35:00.001+08:00

Your Learning Style: Personal and Passionate

You are very flexible and curious about the world. Human understanding is very important to you.

You Should Study:

Anthropology

Architecture

Art

Art history

Art therapy

Classics

Counseling

Foreign Languages and Literature

International Studies

Linguistics

Literature

Psychology

Sociology

Teaching

What Should You Study?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Zomg business isn't inside?!?!?!

2011-02-27T18:27:00.001+08:00

You Are Skating

You have high expectations for yourself. You are driven to achieve and meet your goals.

You may seem fragile, but you're secretly very tough. You won't let anyone intimidate you.

You are naturally graceful and charming. There's something special about the way you move.

You are image conscious and drawn toward beauty. You are always aware of how you look.

Are You Skiing, Sledding, Skating, or Snowboarding?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

2011-02-27T18:22:00.003+08:00

It's the final lap till I become a (temporarily) free bird!

It's exciting but scary at the same time, because it made me very aware how fast time flies. It'll be a long break till the next step in education, and I hope that I can make the most out of this long break to accomplish much and reconnect with friends and loved ones. Maybe I'll take this time to discover myself, but travelling alone is not an option. I'll keep that in mind, but in the future perhaps.

In the meantime, I can't wait for 16.5 hours to pass! ^^

2011-02-11T16:07:00.002+08:00

I will prove to you all.

I will prove to you all that I can succeed. I can do it.

Just to prove you all wrong. Just that.

It may help my future. Heck, everyone's future is uncertain, no matter how many precautions each of us take.

But yes, I will prove you all wrong, so I can laugh in your faces when I produce the results. You will wish that you trusted me even more, that you didn't ignore me or hurt me, that you didn't backstab me or discount my views.

Haters gonna hate.

SO WHAT?

I will prove every one of you WRONG. Just watch me.

2011-02-01T16:51:00.000+08:00

If you had the world at your feet, what would you do?

2011-01-30T21:14:00.002+08:00

University of London - London School of Economics & Political Science

Princeton University

Eugene Lang College The New School for the Liberal Arts

University of Burmingham

NYU

I'd love to go to these places to study, but... they seem so far away. Sigh...

Diamonds

2011-01-23T14:59:00.003+08:00

There will always be people who get upset by your actions.
People will disappoint you, and be disappointed by you.
It may be their fault, it may be yours, or it may be everyone's fault, but they'll point their fingers at you.
People may ignore you or forget you, either because you bore them, or because you are unimportant to them.
People, at least one of the 6.1 billion people living on this earth, will hate you to the core.

But that doesn't mean that you have to give up completely.

When the world turns against you, it's not the end of the world. It will be a period of trials and tribulations. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and surely there's nothing on this earth that will be too hard to the point where it kills you. Well, in the physical sense, there may be, but other than that, I don't think so.

Any period of difficulties would be like the intense and sweltering heat, immense pressure and achingly long periods of time that carbon undergoes. Almost worthless carbon--the kind that is mixed with clay to make pencil leads, the kind that when compact fuels flames. Yes, carbon, under all those extremes, emerges forth as a raw diamond. After which, it is mined out, cut and polished with great care and intricate detail, to become the jewel of all jewels, and all bask in its expensive, glorious and sparkling beauty.

We are all diamonds in the making. I hear of many of my coursemates wanting to quit school when it is the middle of our very last term in Poly. Why the low determination? I'm also going through the same tough times as you, I complain too, but I know that it's just the final league of the marathon that we all have been labouring through for the past close to 3 years.

Why give up now, diamonds in the rough? You're only just a polish and cut away to being a masterpiece.

Rain...

2011-01-15T18:32:00.002+08:00

wash away the dirt,
wash away the dust.

Everything unclean,
cleanse them, you must.
Everything old and dying,
rejuvenate them, you must.
Every tired mind,
refresh them, you shall.
Every aching heart,
relieve their pain, you shall.
Every broken soul,
renew them, you shall.

Dissolve the chains,
dissolve the fear,
dissolve the tears.

Let all dance and sing
with the peaceful chorus

I caught this yesterday! :D

2011-01-12T17:44:00.000+08:00

Untitled

2011-01-08T15:32:00.002+08:00

So my soul just keeps burning
With a range of emotions
So wide so wide
The world keeps turning
& I'm spinning around in circles
In my head

Colours and shapes merging into a blur
Sounds blended into chaotic noise
Ideas bombard my brain
With no knowledge of what is right or wrong
I'm stuck in the confusion
Please tell me where I went wrong?

Is humanity degrading?
Or is it just me?
It's a crazy world out there
Where's the peace?
All I ask is for understanding and knowledge
love and care
friendship and comraderie.
Is that too much to request for?

Go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God

2011-01-05T15:42:00.004+08:00

Title: Mountain of God
Artiste/Band: Third Day
Album: Wherever You Are (2005)

Thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

And I didn't even know
That I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

'Til You opened up my eyes
I never knew
That I couldn't ever make it
Without You

Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again

Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what's in front of me
With what's in front of me

(After final Chorus)
I thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But, You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

Inspires me everytime I listen to it. Mm now I just need to learn how to make a cover of this song (:

Shattered Dreams? Closed Doors or Opened Gates?

2011-01-05T15:31:00.002+08:00

When you see your dreams crumble bit by bit, and you know that as much as you try to salvage them, they'll slip away like grains of sand through your fingers.

When you see your dreams fade away, the hardest thing is to smile and carry on. Or maybe the hardest is to look for an open door or gate when this door closes on you.

It's hard. It's terribly hard.

Indeed, I have been feeling upset and stressed and disappointed. All with myself. And it does not help when circumstances and people rub it in, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Of course, I'm blessed with people who care and comfort and console me, though they claim that they can't do the job well. I'm still grateful and thankful for your concern and love. (:

I need all I can get now. Every single thing. It all counts.

The Idealist Portrait of the CHAMPION (ENFP)

2011-01-03T13:53:00.003+08:00

Based on Dr. David Keirsey's 4 Temperaments:
my temperament: ENFP

All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

Princess Diana, Joan Baez, Albert Schweitzer, Bill Moyers, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mohandas Gandhi, Mikhael Gorbachev, and Oprah Winfrey are examples of Idealists.
____________________________________________________________________
Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)

Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.

Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.

Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

Joan Baez, Phil Donahue, Paul Robeson, Bill Moyer, Elizibeth Cady Stanton, Joeseph Campbell, Edith Wharton, Sargent Shriver, Charles Dickens, and Upton Sinclair are examples of Idealist Champions

Every end is a new beginning

2010-12-31T10:02:00.005+08:00

Every end is a new beginning;
Every farewell leads to another hello;
Every failure comes before another success.

These are mottos that I have been repeating to myself for the past month, and I aim to keep these for the rest of my life. Because that's pretty much what life is. Life goes on. We may make new friends and lose old ones in the process... We may fail in one aspect, but we will succeed in another. Any end leads to the start of another. Yes, even death leads to another dimension. I know it sounds rather sci-fi, but if Heaven is considered a form of dimension, then I guess those who believe in Heaven will agree with me too.

Oh and this is the 365th day of 2010. I.e. it's the last day of 2010.

Time flies.

It seems like yesterday that I was celebrating New Year's on 31st December 2009/1st January 2010.

But I think 2010 has been an extremely fruitful year for me. So many new experiences even though I didn't even step out of the country at all during the entire year. I organised quite a few sessions for CAC, I organised a dialogue session with the current Interpol Prez for my school--my first "large-scale" event that I organised, and the first event that I emceed for. I also attended my first public reception--ASEAN day 2010 reception in August. It was also the first time I interned and experienced "true" work life in a bank. I understand BGRs better. I understand people better.

I lost my best friend, but in the process, I strengthened my friendships with many current friends whom I wasn't so close to last time, and I made many, many new friends in the process. I underwent many trials and tribulations in my personal life, my social life, my school work, my CCA this year. But I've emerged stronger and wiser. I've emerged more determined to become a better person.

Of course I've still got a long way to go to reach perfection. But we can never achieve perfection in this lifetime.

Spiritually, I'm far behind. I need to buck up in this area. As well as my academics. Sigh.

& I've yet to give some friends Christmas letters! Dx

But nonetheless, I'm grateful and thankful and blessed this year. I've been blessed with wonderful friends and family who mean well even though they may not be able to show it the way I'd like them to. I'm thankful that this year has probably been one of my best and most eventful years of my life so far.

I've made New Year Resolutions for 2011. 1 page long. Not sure if I should post them up here.

Parents looked at the piece of paper and said that it's for a perfect person. And some things seem unattainable. But if you don't set your sights high, then how do you progress a lot? There won't be any motivation to progress higher. Or maybe it's the inner hidden perfectionist that I almost never notice is there working at the New Year Resolutions. Hmm...

But I think ultimately, it can all be summed up in 5 words: Make the most of life.

If I don't get to post again before the clock shows 00:00, Happy New Year. God bless you for 2011. (:

2010-12-20T15:20:00.003+08:00

CTs are over...

Well most of them anyway.

Still have to tackle 1 more when school reopens, 6 projects to complete and 2 interviews to prepare for. Also need to think of what to cover for the ED individual oral presentation. Oh, and the CAC Comm Selection Camp to plan and prepare for.

But the last would be a form of destressing, as well as Christmas. The only 3 days where I can relax.

Oh well, work hard now, reap the rewards later. (:

Go, girl.

Only Through Death (part I)

2010-12-13T16:38:00.003+08:00

Only through death, when our bodies burn or merge with the ground, we turn into dust.

We'll be blown through the trees, over land; conquering skies, crossing seas and territorial borders; nurturing the plants that use us to grow, coming in hordes to wreck havoc, dancing in pools of light in a dazzling showcase that mesmerises. We'll make trouble out of nothing, and beauty out of the dull; we'll bring life to one place, and harm to another. We'll be nothing, but we'll be everything. We may seem small, but we'll come together and be able to form things on a massive scale. We'll be almost unseen, yet we can do many things to be seen by the masses...

For eternity.

Only when we turn into dust.

Maybe it is only through death, that our influences will be truly felt.

2010-12-08T16:52:00.003+08:00

How do you know your limits?

When you actually break down?
When you think that adding that something else won't hurt you?
When you know it's going to become too much?

The pressure's on, even more than before. External forces collaborate with time to increase the weight on my shoulders. It is at times like these that you yearn, no... cry out for a break. A true break where you don't have any responsibilities for that while, where you can let go of your worries without having to fret about what needs to be done, or what's going to happen next in your schedule.

Just pure bliss.

That's not to say that being ignorant is good all the time, but sometimes, not knowing just may bring you the most and purest joy around.

Who'll be there to remove those weights? Perhaps it's only by my own efforts that I can do so. It'll be painful and tiring and discouraging, but the light at the end of the tunnel is always a good incentive.

As a friend wisely said, "Few cases of eye strain have been developed by looking at the bright side of things."

Perhaps, it's time for me to think of the positive future and direct my efforts towards it, than wallowing in my present pains, sorrows, stress and worries. It'll be a hard and long journey, but time is a funny, flexible thing. Maybe it won't be that long after all.

I shall look directly into the light for now and point my feet to the source.

Her rants vol 1.0.01

2010-11-22T13:28:00.005+08:00

A lot has happened.

Where do I begin?

I've lost a best friend. I've made even more friends, and grown closer to some current ones. (:

I've been blessed with some wonderful groupmates for my Ethical Dilemmas module. Even though I'm the only girl there, but I'm very glad that we all can cooperate and click very well despite the challenges. Pity I'm not in the same class as them for other modules.

Speaking of which, I'm very glad to have chosen Ethical Dilemmas as an Interdisciplinary Studies module. It is one of the best decisions I've made in terms of academics during the past 3 years (: I've got a wonderful, engaging, knowledgable teacher who spurs you to challenge your boundaries and makes the module less dry than it is. I've many classmates who are mostly fun and intelligent.

& I have a bunch of guy friends whom I hang out with during lectures and over lunch. Really glad to have them, though I'm not all that close to most of them yet.

I've met the current Interpol President. I've emceed for an event for the first time, and this event is perhaps the first seminar that I've helped to organise. I've met some new members of my CCA, and I've grown closer to the current and new members. & I manged to get away from one lesson. :P
That was on Friday (19 Nov 2010). It was truly a long and tiring but thoroughly fun and enjoyable day. (: & one of the new members is enthusiastic to the point of organising a gathering in school this coming Thursday for those who were present for the event :D

I'm starting to love my bunch of CCA juniors! ♥

School work is getting bleagh. But I get inspiration from friends, teachers, Tumblr reblogs/posts and Bible verses to carry on lifting my head up and not let it sink in a pool of self-pity, failure and discouragement. I will not let some insignificant changes in friendships and relationships with people ruin me or pull me down.

I am not insignificant. I am not a failure. I am made for bigger things than this.

I must remember this, and, dear reader, so should you. (:

2010-10-16T23:27:00.002+08:00

We all need some hope in our lives, no matter how bleak our circumstances may be, or how the odds are stacked against us.
It's not the end of the world until The Time comes. And much more often than not, it's not The Time yet.
But until then, hold on to hope, love and faith to pull through. There will be miracles, big and small, but also one must also put in the effort to justify such miracles.
In a nutshell, there is hardly anything worth ending your life over.

Outside our comfort zone

2010-09-19T09:43:00.002+08:00

I have decided.

I'm going to move out of my comfort zone.

I've thought about this for an extremely long time, made lots of observations and casual research over the past few months, talked to a few people. But even before I began talking to these people, my mind was more-or-less set on the decision; I just needed some people's opinions to "justify" my decision. Actually, "justify" is not the exact word for it, but at this moment, it's the closest word that I can dig out of my inner thesaurus.

Recently, after many days and weeks of searching, I've managed to find something relevant outside my comfort zone for me to try. It's a bit of a relief, but one does not a maze just by knowing where the exit is; he needs to actually get to where the exit is.

Now is the process of getting to the end of the maze. I know I'm close to it, but there are a few more obstacles to overcome first.

All that's left now is the courage to tell the people who matter within this comfort zone my decision.

Wrong to dream?

2010-09-08T23:48:00.002+08:00

Is it wrong to want to be so many things at once? Even if many of them aren't what one is expected to be?

They say, "Follow your dreams."

But seems like this society doesn't really allow that to happen. :/

Last chance at teenhood

2010-09-05T17:23:00.000+08:00

Birthdays...

the time to test whether people really love you, I guess. Whether you mean anything to them, or whether you're merely a name or face that passes by as quickly as it comes, or one that forever sits in the shadows away from the light of importance.

& when you've just entered the last stage of teenhood, you're caught in the tussle of still being a kid while shouldering adult-worthy responsibilities. To be more precise, expected to shoulder.

It's scary, it's exciting, it's uncertain--what the future brings, how the next year will be, what relationships will be made, forged stronger or made broken... Because one year is a short period of time, yet many things can happen before we know it.

Time's a funny thing, and so are birthdays. A time of celebration? A time of reflection? A time of looking ahead and making wishes, dreams, goals, aspirations, promises... to yourself, to others, or to God? A time to give thanks? I choose to use it as a time to celebrate, appreciate, and envision my future.

It's my last chance at teenhood. All 365 days / 8760 hours / 525600 minutes / 31536000 seconds of it. Also, a milestone year for me, as I move on to another aspect of life, and hopefully, another level with God.

Thank you, family and friends, for all the birthday wishes on facebook & sms, presents, cards, hugs, and love. & Thank You, Lord, for sustaining me through the past 19 years of my life and showering me with blessings and helping me through my trials and tribulations, never leaving my side even during the stormy times of my life. I love You, and everyone in my life.

I'll make my last stretch of teenhood the best yet.

clone

2010-08-24T16:54:00.001+08:00

Everything's the same now:

music, celebrities, politicians, art, movies, books, dance, products, people...

where has originality gone to?

We can dream

2010-08-20T11:11:00.001+08:00

Make a wish.

11:11

Birth

2010-08-20T10:57:00.000+08:00

Like the phoenix,

when it dies,

it burns

into ashes

and re-emerges

a brand new life.

Nothing can stop it.

It has the burning passion

to live.