Every end is a new beginning

Every end is a new beginning;
Every farewell leads to another hello;
Every failure comes before another success.

These are mottos that I have been repeating to myself for the past month, and I aim to keep these for the rest of my life. Because that's pretty much what life is. Life goes on. We may make new friends and lose old ones in the process... We may fail in one aspect, but we will succeed in another. Any end leads to the start of another. Yes, even death leads to another dimension. I know it sounds rather sci-fi, but if Heaven is considered a form of dimension, then I guess those who believe in Heaven will agree with me too.

Oh and this is the 365th day of 2010. I.e. it's the last day of 2010.

Time flies.

It seems like yesterday that I was celebrating New Year's on 31st December 2009/1st January 2010.

But I think 2010 has been an extremely fruitful year for me. So many new experiences even though I didn't even step out of the country at all during the entire year. I organised quite a few sessions for CAC, I organised a dialogue session with the current Interpol Prez for my school--my first "large-scale" event that I organised, and the first event that I emceed for. I also attended my first public reception--ASEAN day 2010 reception in August. It was also the first time I interned and experienced "true" work life in a bank. I understand BGRs better. I understand people better.

I lost my best friend, but in the process, I strengthened my friendships with many current friends whom I wasn't so close to last time, and I made many, many new friends in the process. I underwent many trials and tribulations in my personal life, my social life, my school work, my CCA this year. But I've emerged stronger and wiser. I've emerged more determined to become a better person.

Of course I've still got a long way to go to reach perfection. But we can never achieve perfection in this lifetime.

Spiritually, I'm far behind. I need to buck up in this area. As well as my academics. Sigh.

& I've yet to give some friends Christmas letters! Dx

But nonetheless, I'm grateful and thankful and blessed this year. I've been blessed with wonderful friends and family who mean well even though they may not be able to show it the way I'd like them to. I'm thankful that this year has probably been one of my best and most eventful years of my life so far.

I've made New Year Resolutions for 2011. 1 page long. Not sure if I should post them up here.

Parents looked at the piece of paper and said that it's for a perfect person. And some things seem unattainable. But if you don't set your sights high, then how do you progress a lot? There won't be any motivation to progress higher. Or maybe it's the inner hidden perfectionist that I almost never notice is there working at the New Year Resolutions. Hmm...

But I think ultimately, it can all be summed up in 5 words: Make the most of life.

If I don't get to post again before the clock shows 00:00, Happy New Year. God bless you for 2011. (:

CTs are over...

Well most of them anyway.

Still have to tackle 1 more when school reopens, 6 projects to complete and 2 interviews to prepare for. Also need to think of what to cover for the ED individual oral presentation. Oh, and the CAC Comm Selection Camp to plan and prepare for.

But the last would be a form of destressing, as well as Christmas. The only 3 days where I can relax.

Oh well, work hard now, reap the rewards later. (:

Go, girl.

Only Through Death (part I)

Only through death, when our bodies burn or merge with the ground, we turn into dust.

We'll be blown through the trees, over land; conquering skies, crossing seas and territorial borders; nurturing the plants that use us to grow, coming in hordes to wreck havoc, dancing in pools of light in a dazzling showcase that mesmerises. We'll make trouble out of nothing, and beauty out of the dull; we'll bring life to one place, and harm to another. We'll be nothing, but we'll be everything. We may seem small, but we'll come together and be able to form things on a massive scale. We'll be almost unseen, yet we can do many things to be seen by the masses...

For eternity.

Only when we turn into dust.



Maybe it is only through death, that our influences will be truly felt.

How do you know your limits?


When you actually break down?
When you think that adding that something else won't hurt you?
When you know it's going to become too much?

The pressure's on, even more than before. External forces collaborate with time to increase the weight on my shoulders. It is at times like these that you yearn, no... cry out for a break. A true break where you don't have any responsibilities for that while, where you can let go of your worries without having to fret about what needs to be done, or what's going to happen next in your schedule.

Just pure bliss.

That's not to say that being ignorant is good all the time, but sometimes, not knowing just may bring you the most and purest joy around.

Who'll be there to remove those weights? Perhaps it's only by my own efforts that I can do so. It'll be painful and tiring and discouraging, but the light at the end of the tunnel is always a good incentive.

As a friend wisely said, "Few cases of eye strain have been developed by looking at the bright side of things."

Perhaps, it's time for me to think of the positive future and direct my efforts towards it, than wallowing in my present pains, sorrows, stress and worries. It'll be a hard and long journey, but time is a funny, flexible thing. Maybe it won't be that long after all.

I shall look directly into the light for now and point my feet to the source.

Her rants vol 1.0.01

A lot has happened.

Where do I begin?

I've lost a best friend. I've made even more friends, and grown closer to some current ones. (:

I've been blessed with some wonderful groupmates for my Ethical Dilemmas module. Even though I'm the only girl there, but I'm very glad that we all can cooperate and click very well despite the challenges. Pity I'm not in the same class as them for other modules.

Speaking of which, I'm very glad to have chosen Ethical Dilemmas as an Interdisciplinary Studies module. It is one of the best decisions I've made in terms of academics during the past 3 years (: I've got a wonderful, engaging, knowledgable teacher who spurs you to challenge your boundaries and makes the module less dry than it is. I've many classmates who are mostly fun and intelligent.

& I have a bunch of guy friends whom I hang out with during lectures and over lunch. Really glad to have them, though I'm not all that close to most of them yet.

I've met the current Interpol President. I've emceed for an event for the first time, and this event is perhaps the first seminar that I've helped to organise. I've met some new members of my CCA, and I've grown closer to the current and new members. & I manged to get away from one lesson. :P
That was on Friday (19 Nov 2010). It was truly a long and tiring but thoroughly fun and enjoyable day. (: & one of the new members is enthusiastic to the point of organising a gathering in school this coming Thursday for those who were present for the event :D

I'm starting to love my bunch of CCA juniors! ♥

School work is getting bleagh. But I get inspiration from friends, teachers, Tumblr reblogs/posts and Bible verses to carry on lifting my head up and not let it sink in a pool of self-pity, failure and discouragement. I will not let some insignificant changes in friendships and relationships with people ruin me or pull me down.

I am not insignificant. I am not a failure. I am made for bigger things than this.

I must remember this, and, dear reader, so should you. (:

We all need some hope in our lives, no matter how bleak our circumstances may be, or how the odds are stacked against us.
It's not the end of the world until The Time comes. And much more often than not, it's not The Time yet.
But until then, hold on to hope, love and faith to pull through. There will be miracles, big and small, but also one must also put in the effort to justify such miracles.
In a nutshell, there is hardly anything worth ending your life over.

Outside our comfort zone

I have decided.

I'm going to move out of my comfort zone.

I've thought about this for an extremely long time, made lots of observations and casual research over the past few months, talked to a few people. But even before I began talking to these people, my mind was more-or-less set on the decision; I just needed some people's opinions to "justify" my decision. Actually, "justify" is not the exact word for it, but at this moment, it's the closest word that I can dig out of my inner thesaurus.

Recently, after many days and weeks of searching, I've managed to find something relevant outside my comfort zone for me to try. It's a bit of a relief, but one does not a maze just by knowing where the exit is; he needs to actually get to where the exit is.

Now is the process of getting to the end of the maze. I know I'm close to it, but there are a few more obstacles to overcome first.

All that's left now is the courage to tell the people who matter within this comfort zone my decision.

Wrong to dream?

Is it wrong to want to be so many things at once? Even if many of them aren't what one is expected to be?

They say, "Follow your dreams."

But seems like this society doesn't really allow that to happen. :/

Last chance at teenhood

Birthdays...

the time to test whether people really love you, I guess. Whether you mean anything to them, or whether you're merely a name or face that passes by as quickly as it comes, or one that forever sits in the shadows away from the light of importance.

& when you've just entered the last stage of teenhood, you're caught in the tussle of still being a kid while shouldering adult-worthy responsibilities. To be more precise, expected to shoulder.

It's scary, it's exciting, it's uncertain--what the future brings, how the next year will be, what relationships will be made, forged stronger or made broken... Because one year is a short period of time, yet many things can happen before we know it.

Time's a funny thing, and so are birthdays. A time of celebration? A time of reflection? A time of looking ahead and making wishes, dreams, goals, aspirations, promises... to yourself, to others, or to God? A time to give thanks? I choose to use it as a time to celebrate, appreciate, and envision my future.

It's my last chance at teenhood. All 365 days / 8760 hours / 525600 minutes / 31536000 seconds of it. Also, a milestone year for me, as I move on to another aspect of life, and hopefully, another level with God.

Thank you, family and friends, for all the birthday wishes on facebook & sms, presents, cards, hugs, and love. & Thank You, Lord, for sustaining me through the past 19 years of my life and showering me with blessings and helping me through my trials and tribulations, never leaving my side even during the stormy times of my life. I love You, and everyone in my life.

I'll make my last stretch of teenhood the best yet.

clone

Everything's the same now:

music, celebrities, politicians, art, movies, books, dance, products, people...

where has originality gone to?

We can dream

Make a wish.

11:11

Birth

Like the phoenix,

when it dies,

it burns

into ashes

and re-emerges

a brand new life.

Nothing can stop it.

It has the burning passion

to live.